Back To School...

I have been aware of the Khan Academy for some time now and was expecting it to develop the way it has today. This is the great equalizer for whole generations of young Malaysians (since the early 70s) who have been marginalized by a secondary school education system designed to social engineer an "educated society" with more form than substance; a scheme of grand design that was to bring about "equality" albeit at a substandard level. A system that created whole generations of "literate illiterate" Malaysians as by extension, the standards in tertiary education suffered the same fate. Just take a close look at the "quality" of graduates in the last two decades who are expected to drive our K-economy!

An immediate effect of the system was the proliferation of students with double digit numbers of As never before heard of let alone seen. Certainly, the average IQ level of young Malaysians did not increase overnight! The obvious lowering of the bar eventually affected all races and this was only the academic aspect of schooling! Another major factor was and still is the downgrading of English as a medium of instruction. Socio-political factors which need no further elaboration here, drew clear demarcation lines that divided the races in schools. The fading of meritocracy put paid to any chance of the best shining through and I think the last nail is the vicious cycle that started when the very products of this education system became fodder for sprouting teacher training colleges which supplied substandard teachers back to the schools.   

My children were direct victims of this system as they learned virtually nothing useful from their years in so-called government school. It was frustrating to see how they "progressed" through the system yet their knowledge base was obviously way inferior compared to what my own generation gained from secondary schooling. 

Yes, they are computer literate/savvy but that was not acquired in school. I shudder to imagine what they would be today if as parents we had not given them access to computers and the internet at home. Parents with my same dilemma can now rest easy. Go check out Khan Academy. Alas, the medium of instruction is English which justifies the efforts of the Parents Action Group for Education (PAGE).



Personally, I believe the best thing I could ever give my children was to teach them to think and imbue the attitude that we can master ANYTHING if only we are interested enough to want to learn more. J.J. is an interesting case in point. Since the left-brain/right-brained theory is now considered a myth and outdated I cannot explain why he is so much like Jeannie; they learn so well through audio visual means. Thank goodness for You Tube!!!

I chose not to point J.J. towards Khan Academy in hope that he would discover it himself. And discover it he did! He can now begin his personal journey to "fill in the gaps" and his first subject of choice is biology which begins with "Evolution and Natural Selection". He just told us he refuses to be a "lesser ape"!

Krystyn on the other hand is not so into learning from You Tube but being gifted with speed reading ability, Google is her most useful source of knowledge although she too can gain lots from the Khan Academy.

The Next Generation

I will be 55 in a few days. A watershed that in the preceding years I had often wondered what my children will be. They have grown and Jeannie would have been proud. 

Krystyn Cheah, who is Mummy's girl and Papa's daughter; a potent combination to add to her inborn gifts. She has always had to be mature beyond her years. 

The paradox that is J.J. Cheah - behind that clownish disposition, lies a serious, sensitive and determined young man who will be a better man than his father.

Prince Cheah is a gift to us in so many ways. Transcending generations in the manner that only he can. He means different things to each because each of us means different things to him. 

I need no longer wonder.

Krystyn Cheah the big sister

Cheah Jie Juan...the only male Cheah offspring in the line

Prince Cheah...he transcends generations

The Cheahs - Once Upon A Time In China

A Cook In...

Today, 17th January 2014 is Thaipusam Day. Rather than to join Hindu devotees thronging the streets, staying in was the best way to avoid the traffic jam. It was also a good time to cook. 

JJ did a shoulder pork roast and Krystyn, fusion (the tinge of curry powder added the local flavor) cauliflower and broccoli soup. 

No need to buy kangkung. A plate of kangkung belacan these days would be about RM13.00. As it were, our meal today costed us under RM50.00; the pork costing about RM38.00 for 2.4 kg and cauliflower/broccoli less than RM10.00. Eating out for a meal like this would definitely cost more without the fun of cooking. We could not even finish the roast.

2.4 kg pork shoulder 

Scored to obtain greater surface area

Bondage

Ingredients for soup

Pork a roasting and soup a boiling

Home brewed chrysanthemum tea 

Just perfect! Nice crackle outside and cooked medium inside

Succulent

Perfect

Soup with broccoli chunks and Prince Cheah (as usual)

English mustard for pork and salted butter for rolls

Dessert - vanilla ice cream 

Taiping Mali

When Taipingnites visit Taiping with non-Taiping spouses and children. The following video clip was in the Panorama Hotel suite in 1998.

An English Tea

In keeping with the current top English TV series, Downton Abbey we are watching, just had cranberry scones with mixed berries jam and cream by Krystyn Cheah...typically English tea fare. The first time she had scones, strawberry jam and clotted cream was in Windsor 1997. Time has flown and Krystyn has grown.

Dinner At Auntie Aini's Garden Cafe

Last night Mimi hosted dinner...again. This time it was at Auntie Aini's Garden Cafe in Nilai; a place introduced to her by a client and serves wonderfully authentic Negeri Sembilan malay cuisine. 

I shall not go into detail of the location or how difficult it can be to locate the place at night nor its description; there are enough articles on the internet including GPS coordinates (here, here, here, here, here and many more). It was Mimi's second visit and she being also from Negeri Sembilan I trust her taste buds when she waxed lyrical about her first culinary experience there. As for me, I was more interested in the various masak lemak cili padi.

We arrived late as usual but Mimi had already pre-ordered the food and we were ushered to a table that could accommodate the 6 of us. Nothing to complain about the service.

The main courses that Mimi ordered (shown here in portions for 3): 

(L-R) Pucuk paku masak kerang, sambal kupang, ayam kampung goreng, kangkung belacan, and signature dishes, daging salai masak lemak cili padi, telur itek masak lemak cili padi and the udang galah masak lemak tempoyak. There were of course many other dishes on the menu and the must try later would be the asam pedas and rendang offerings.  

How do I rate the food that we had? The masak lemak cili api dishes were of course exquisite with the rich santan flavor cut with the sourness of belimbing and probably asam keping. I think they reduced the hotness for us with less cili api. The poached telur itek would have been better underdone with the yoke still able to ooze out. Tempoyak aficionados would call me an idiot (I am not a tempoyak fan) for having just tried a bit of the udang galah masak lemak tempoyak for taste. The gulai daging salai to me was just perfect and the ayam kampung goreng was well marinated (a tinge of asam or lime sourness) and fried the way most Malaysians like; crispy on the outside, tender and juicy on the inside.  

I suspect vegetables may not be Auntie Aini's cup of tea. The kangkung belacan and pucuk paku goreng kerang although not over-fried, lacked more distinct flavor normally associated with the two dishes. Being a masak lemak place a kerabu pucuk paku with santan would have been a better choice. The kupang masak sambal was nice but rather ordinary.

However, this dessert was by no means ordinary. Homemade tapai with vanilla ice cream!

Auntie Aini? Well, she is both a personality and a character. Go meet her for yourself as Auntie Aini's Garden Cafe is a must visit destination on the Malaysian culinary map.  

To Mimi, a big thank you.

Here's a preview:

  

Happy 27th June Darling...

It is 27th June again today. Jeannie's last birthday. This one by Al Stewart for you Darling.




One Stage Before

It seems to me as though I've been upon this stage before
And juggled away the night for the same old crowd
These harlequins you see with me, they too have held the floor
As here once again they strut and they fret their hour

I see those half-familiar faces in the second row
Ghost-like with the footlights in their eyes
But where or when we met like this last time, I just don't know
It's like a chord that rings and never dies for infinity

And now these figures in the wings with all their restless tunes
Are waiting around for someone to call their names
They walk the backstage corridors and prowl the dressing rooms
And vanish to specks of light in the picture-frames

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/one-stage-before-lyrics-al-stewart.html ]
But did they move upon the stage a thousand years ago
In some play in Paris or Madrid
And was I there among them then, in some travelling show
And is it all still locked inside my head for infinity

And some of you are harmonies to all the notes I play
Although we may not meet still you know me well
While others talk in secret keys and transpose all I say
And nothing I do or try can get me through the spell

So one more time we'll dim the lights and ring the curtain up
And play again like all the times before
But far behind the music you can almost hear the sounds
Of laughter like the waves upon the shores of infinity

Read more: AL STEWART - ONE STAGE BEFORE LYRICS 

Anniversaries

I was refering to today, 4th April as the anniversary of my rebirth while talking to JJ and a friend. Indeed it is and dates back to 4th April 1981 having survived a horrendous car crash. 32 years ago! What I did not mention was that it was also the exact day, 4 years later (4th April, 1985), I first met Jeannie.

Funny, I saw this video posted on Facebook today too.  

12th January 2013. Himpunan Kebangkitan Rakyat” Rally

We were there too...

The police said 40,000 attended. We know better.

Of Children...God- or Otherwise

When I first met Jeannie 27 years ago, she had endometriosis. This is a very painful condition caused by abnormal growth of cells (endometrial cells) similar to those that form the inside of the uterus, but in a location outside of the uterus. Endometrial cells are cells that are shed each month during menstruation. The cells of endometriosis attach themselves to tissue outside the uterus and are called endometriosis implants. These implants are most commonly found on the ovaries, the Fallopian tubes, outer surfaces of the uterus or intestines, and on the surface lining of the pelvic cavity.

In short, the condition is exacerbated by menstruation. Her right ovary had already been removed and needless to say, her child-bearing prospects were diminished. The irony is that pregnancy is a natural "cure" for endometriosis as opposed to gonadotropin drugs that artificially induce menopause. Jeannie was put on Danazol which in itself was a problem. The contraindications of the drug is arguably worse than its efficacy! She exhibited all the classic side-effects. This was no way to start a marriage but we persevered; it made us stronger as a couple and the fact that I was willing to accept a possibility of not having children probably proved my commitment to the relationship. The side-effects of Danazol itself would test any husband-wife relationship!

I could write chapters in a "How-To" manual for couples facing endometriosis but this blogpost is not about endometriosis per se. It is about children. 

Even when faced with the prospect of not having our own kids, we both felt adoption was out of the question; it just was not the same. Fortunately, against much odds we managed to have Krystyn and then J.J. but this blogpost is also not about them. 

Agreed as we did on so many aspects of life there was an obvious difference when it came to "extended family" in the form of "god-sons/daughters/sisters/brothers" and such. I was never big on such things but to big hearted Jeannie, love is not "zero-sum". So it came to past that we became god-parents to a number of children including one we fostered from The Pure Life Society.

When Jeannie was still alive it was obviously she who did the "parenting" while I was for the most part, a supportive observer. They called her Mummy while I was admittedly more the "khai yeh" in name than spirit. Nevertheless, they were by and large good kids and we saw them grow through the years.

It did not take long after Jeannie's demise for it to dawn upon me I had "inherited" a bunch of god-children. Immediately after Jeannie passed, there were notifications to be done, grief to share, the funeral to arrange, an obituary to be written, wrecked emotions to manage...consolation to succor. Yet, through it all, because of the extended family there was a comforting fellow feeling that somehow alleviated the grief. Each remembered Jeannie in their own way and all wanted to share in giving her a send-off she would have wanted. I could no longer be the godfather in name only and unwittingly the role grew on me. It is now coming to half a decade since Jeannie left us yet she remains the common factor and indeed the bond that cements the relationships. It is from this that I have even developed a sense of responsibility towards our godchildren especially from the aspect of their major life changing decisions. 

One of them recently converted to Islam and decided to marry a 24 year old Malay private in the army; she is a 36 year old divorced mother with a 10 year daughter and a reasonably successful career. The 12 year age difference speaks for itself and coupled with the fact of the fiance's limited education and English language skills, the odds are stacked against a successful union. Also, they had known each other well only for three months before deciding to marry. Even if this was an arrangement at soul level, chances are it is to learn lessons in heartaches and disappointments.

Nevertheless, she has decided to defy the odds despite my efforts to convince her otherwise. I was not even trying to tell them not to get married but to wait at least until year end. To get to know each other better. Why the rush? My objections are based not only on the above but on many other observations and knowledge of the circumstances of their decision. These I shall not mention here but they have nothing to do with race or religion; not directly anyway. We even have a Malay godson, Saiful.

What does a godfather do in such situations? What can he do? Nothing actually. So what is the point of being a godfather? As it appears...none!

My Darling Jeannie, my work with our kids are yet undone but with the godchildren, I am increasingly convinced the work cannot be done.

**********************************
Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet on Children:

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

A Grandmother And Her Granddaughter

June 1998

My mother will be having her birthday for the twentieth time next year. No she is not twenty years old come February next but will be 80. That comes with being born on 29th February! Krystyn is 24.

Yesterday, Krystyn went out with her grandmother on one of their now regular jaunts to Tesco. They are two generations apart and I would not say they are best of pals in the sense of the word. But they enjoy a very good grandmother-granddaughter relationship that only really blossomed after Jeannie's passing more than 4 years ago. Cantonese speaking Krystyn is also her grandchild who is most Chinese in her ways compared to the rest who are essentially "yellow on the outside, white on the inside" bananas.

June 2011

These days there is even no need for me to be within their communications loop and my mother hardly ever needs to phone me anymore. She is comfortable getting Krystyn to drive her around when she needs to and Krystyn has no qualms doing so. I believe she has come to terms with the fact that Krystyn is already a young woman in her own right. It is through Krystyn and JJ today that my mother can truly appreciate Jeannie's upbringing of her grand children and indeed understand Jeannie better; they are unmistakably Jeannie's children.

Krystyn on the other hand can learn a lot from her Ah Mah especially about household stuff and in filling blanks about things past in this Cheah family. The current main tutorial seems to be in the art of fresh grocery shopping. Just to indicate how proficient my mother is, based on weight estimation alone, Krystyn related how she required and selected 5 kilos of cucumber (to make acar awak for a friend) at Tesco yesterday. She picked the cucumbers into three plastic bags and when Krystyn took them to the weighing counter to pack, one was exactly 2.0 kg, another 1.80 kg and the other 1.20 kg = 5.0 kg! That kind of kung fu is not acquired overnight...just imagine the level of knowledge and proficiency that comes with more than 60 years cooking experience.

Early 1950s?

Life is a cycle and renewal comes with succession. Recently, my mother has been handing to Krystyn custody of some of her simple, yet cherished possessions...old photographs, recipe books, etc. I would rather see this in the good light of acceptance and reconciliation with life.

Mummy's Boys

4th Year

Exactly four years have passed Darling.

"The ultimate goal of all souls appears to be the desire to seek perfection and conjoin with the Source that created them..."


Click to play.

Boring Transformers 3 And Transformations.

Watched Transformers 3 at Pavilion with Krystyn while JJ was attending a colleague's wedding reception at Corus Hotel nearby. The show was boring and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is no Megan Fox; by far actually.

Anyway, while the Transformers were transforming on the big screen, JJ was having his own transformation at the dinner. Whether it was a company tradition that they get the newest/youngest staff member pissed drunk as a "Christening" or JJ's own foolhardiness, there was no excuse for him to go way beyond his limit. JJ's colleague answered when I called JJ's phone after the movie. He said that JJ had passed out at the restaurant after too much drink.

We had already warned JJ that he may be forced to drink in good fun by his colleagues but he was not supposed to be manipulated by whomever, whatever the circumstances to drink more than he can.

Concern transformed to anger when I saw JJ lying prostrate on four chairs arranged in a row…dead to the world. Which father would want to see his son in that condition? A few of his male colleagues were standing around him trying to offer me some explanation and assurance that they would have sent him home regardless. A no brainer; an unwritten rule which is a given when drinking amongst friends. Conscience following complicity perhaps? Whatever!

There were also some ladies who were generally quiet, and positioned at the fringe. Maybe they knew more than what their male counterparts were letting on?

I was quite sure JJ was just drunk and not suffering from an overdose of, or dangerous allergic reaction to alcohol. He would be ok after a good sleep but this must become a life lesson for him. He had failed to heed a lesson that he must never allow himself to be coerced or intimidated by anyone to drink more that he can drink. If he did, then whatever the consequences, the blame was his and his alone. At occasions like Chinese weddings and such, drinking upmanship is common but a line is drawn at physically forcing someone to drink. Then it may even be deemed criminal.

Anyway, JJ managed stand up and with help from some of his colleagues, got to the hotel foyer where Krystyn was parked at the driveway.

I will know from JJ what exactly happened but it is not difficult to guess from what I already know. At the time of this writing, JJ is still asleep at home on the couch downstairs. For JJ, the episode will be considered part of his rites of passage. Not being able to drink is no crime and we all have our shortcomings. How else to explain when one can transform from:

to:

J.J.'s 21st Birthday Gathering

J.J. turns 21 on the 23rd of June. It seems to me he turned 18 not too long ago. Nevertheless I have watched him develop the last three years through his own efforts and trials and tribulations into the intuitive young man he is today. He will continue to grow from here and continue to build on a sense of values that Mummy ingrained in his first 17 years.

It has been a transitional year for him not only in age but also in his chosen career field of audio engineering. As he cuts his teeth in the company that he is with now, I am thankful there are still decent people around who earnestly teach him.  

This past Saturday, he had a few friends over to usher in his 21st year and Krystyn put in a lot of effort as the main organizer. Krystyn invited members of a Christian cell group J.J. sometimes fraternizes with. They are a well brought up bunch and do their parents proud. It was certainly a different experience with a group that cold-called a few months ago. Special appreciation goes to cell leader Mei Fong for her initiative and I hope they enjoyed the company and the food (especially the roast pork courtesy of Amah Nellie).

To J.J., here's wishing you a great adult life ahead and be assured that you have what it takes to stand tall in a world that has become exceedingly cynical and unforgiving. Mummy would have been proud of you. Some photos: