28th February

Today, 28th February 2008 is not just another Thursday. It was to be Jeannie's and my 22nd wedding anniversary.

I had spent about 7 hours at Starbucks in Mid Valley Gardens the day before and apart from clearing up some backlogged paper work it was also a time to reflect and decide on numerous personal issues. Many had to do with us without Jeannie, since 28th February was looming; practical matters like moving house, the kids' education and future, my own future and mindset, etc........

Yahoo alerted me about today and seeing the words "Wedding Anniversary (repeats once a year)" in my mailbox two days ago stirred up emotions. The fact that I am now a widower finally sank in with the realization that there are no more wedding anniversaries with Jeannie. I was immediately reminded of our 17th wedding anniversary that we celebrated in COBRA Club and my letter to Jeannie that she read out to our guests. The words still rankle as the memory of the moment remains etched in my psyche. This is the part of the letter that was prophetic and virtually our plea to the Universe for more.....

"..........Ours has always been one of a countdown rather than of notching the years. A conscious decision we made to cherish and relish our remaining years together has enhanced our relationship and defined our marriage. Every anniversary we share reduces the number of anniversaries we have left; yet we are happy. We are happy to have found each other, we are happy to be together, we are happy to walk together.

My darling, you are to me more precious than life. If given a choice between immortality without you, and counting down years together with you. I would choose the finite.

May the years we have left be more than the 17 wonderful years we have shared as "US"......."

Jeannie and I reached that moment in our lives together on the 12th of July, 2007 when the countdown stopped. Today there is no anniversary but just a date.....28th February.